Jane Fonda Back Again with Senior Exercise Videos

Jane Fonda's new workout for the elderly

Tuesday, 14 September , 2010, 13:34

Veteran actress and fitness expert Jane Fonda has released two new exercise videos aimed at elderly people.

Both the videos - Walk Out and Fit and Strong will be released in November, and promise to help seniors lose weight and build strength through low impact exercise, reports dailymail.co.uk.

"I'm very excited to be back in the fitness business. I know from experience and from my research how critical it is for seniors to be physically active. Even if they've never exercised in their lives, now is the time and my programs are a good, safe way to do it," said Fonda.

The 72-year-old is herself hale and hearty all thanks to a healthy lifestyle.

"If I don't stay active my body stops functioning. I'm careful about how I eat. I stay active. I walk a lot. I have good genes - and money," she said.


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Wii Bowling for Seniors is Exercise

BRIGANTINE-- With both matching shirts and their game faces on The "Hot Pins" are here to win. "We've got a good team of players, a lot of good players," said bowler Ruth Martin.

The two teams of four senior citizens were all business as they grabbed their controllers and took aim in a Nintendo Wii bowling competition at the Brigantine Civic Center.

"We think we're doing really well and they take it very seriously. We did a whole bunch of practice weeks to start," said Linda Nace, Senior Site Manager. It's all to prepare for a contest sponsored by the National Senior League. However, before the team could compete they said they had some learning to do.

"We seem to know which buttons to push now which we didn't know in the beginning," said Nace. Part of the preparation, before taking to the virtual lanes, was to create their own Nintendo Wii characters.

"They made mine up. I have little blonde hair and a little face," said bowler Laura Bauder. It looks like a lot of fun but it's all-apart of a competition with 300 sites competing in 24 states. This team even has a coach.

"I keep track of the scores, strikes, spares during the competition. I had to help them learn the game," said coach, and high school freshman, Joe DiBuonaventura.

Once a week the team's coach will keep scores and submit them online. The competition is in its third week and runs for close to 2 months. While the "Hot Pins" say competition heats up, it's actually all just about staying active. "Its exercise, you're moving your arms," said Bauder.

They say there is no "I" in this team, and support every bowler. "One doesn't do good the next time they do better," Bauder. The "Hot Pins" maybe on a hot streak they say they are also having some fun.

"We have a great time yeah. Especially when we make a strike, everybody dances," said Bauder. "They're all thinking they are getting a banquet at the end and I am sure we'll set something up," said Nace.

The teams at the Brigantine Civic Center are the only Atlantic County contestants. They're playing competitors from as far away as Florida and California. The top teams from each conference will advance to the Open Bowl playoffs.

For more information contact Senior Solutions at (954) 456-8984 or toll free at 1-800-213-3524

Six Money Saving Tips for Seniors

1. Check out your favorite stores for their senior discount policy. Some stores offer a 5-10% discount on all purchases made by seniors every day of the week. Others have a senior day, perhaps on Wednesday of each week, where seniors get a 20% discount. You may have to ask for the discount, although many stores now just automatically figure in the discount for anyone who looks as though they might fit into the “senior” category. The important thing is to be armed ahead of time with the policy of each store so that you can arrange your shopping trips in order to take advantage of any savings you are entitled to.

2. See if you regularly use items that can be diluted or otherwise cut back on to save money and to make your product last longer.

a. The recommended amount of laundry detergent is often far more than necessary to get clothes clean. Experiment to see how little you can actually get by with.

b. Reuse dryer softener sheets. I usually save them in a small cardboard box until I get a sizeable number. Then I place them in the laundry room and use two each time until they are gone. Not a huge savings, but a worthwhile one.

c. Dilute thick shampoo with water. Keep a spare bottle on hand and pour half of your new bottle into the spare bottle. Then fill both the rest of the way with water. Once they are shaken up, you can barely tell the difference, and it doesn’t take forever to get the shampoo to come out of the top opening like it does with the thicker shampoo. (This really works well when teen-age grandchildren come to visit. They love to slop it on, and this way, they are really only using half as much, but will never even notice.)

d. My husband’s very favorite trick is to save several “used up” tubes of toothpaste, snip the bottom off of each one, and see how many brushings he can still get out of an “empty” tube of toothpaste. He is known as the toothpaste miser around our house.

e. Buy large economy sizes of things like catsup, mayonnaise, and spaghetti. Then divide them into smaller containers so that the extra won’t spoil after the package or bottle has been opened. (Reasonably priced re-closeable containers are available at most department stores.)

3. Pick up gift items for birthdays and for Christmas throughout the year. If you keep your eyes open, you will find lovely gift items for a fraction of their original cost this way. Keep them tucked away in a closet somewhere so that they will be ready at a moment’s notice. Cards and wrapping paper are also great items to stock up on ahead of time. No last minute rushing out to buy Aunt Harriet a birthday gift. All you need is a 5-minute notice and you will have a gorgeous gift wrapped and ready to go.

4. Make lists. Grocery shop with a list to discourage impulse purchases. Post a list at home so other members of the household will be reminded to keep an eye out for a good buy on posted items. Update your lists frequently.

5. Eat out infrequently. As well as being less expensive, home-cooked meals are usually healthier. Watch for coupons offering senior discounts or special prices at your favorite restaurants for when you do go out. Eating out too frequently can quickly become so routine that it no longer seems to be a special treat. Save eating out for special occasions, and you’ll be surprised at how much more you enjoy it.

6. Don’t overlook online shopping if you are a regular computer user. Do your homework and you will often find brand-name products at huge discounts. Watch for special times when online stores are offering “no-shipping cost” prices. Many stores like Target, Circuit City, Staples, and Walmart now have online outlets where you can order online and choose home delivery or you can pick up the item at your local store. No more being jostled about by other shoppers; perfect for Christmas shopping from an easy chair in your very own living room.

For more information contact Senior Solutions at (954) 456-8984 or toll free at 1-800-213-3524

Humor and the Senior Citizen - Risque Content

JOKE 1: A 75-year-old man went to the doctor's office to get a sperm count.
The Doctor gave the man a jar and said, "Take this jar home and bring me back a sample tomorrow."

The next day, the 75-year-old man reappears at the doctor's office and gives him the jar, which is as clean and empty as the previous day.

The doctor asks what happened, and the man explains, "Well, Doc, it's like this. First I tried with my right hand, but nothing. Then I tried with my left hand, but nothing. Then I asked my wife for help. She tried with her right hand, but nothing. Then with her left, but nothing. She even tried with her mouth, first with her teeth in, then with he teeth out, and still nothing. Hell, we even called up the lady next door, and she tried with both hands and her mouth too, but nothing."

The doctor was shocked. "You asked your neighbor?"

The old man replied, "Yep, but no matter what we tried, we couldn't get that damn jar opened!"
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JOKE 2:A young fellow was about to be married and was asking his grandfather about sex. He asked how often you should have it. His grandfather told him that when you first get married, you want it all the time, and maybe do it several times a day.

His grandfather continued to tell the young fellow that later on, sex tapers off and you have it once a week or so. Then as you get older, you have sex maybe once a month. When you get really old, you are lucky to have it once a year - maybe on your anniversary.

The young fellow then asked his grandfather, "Well how about you and Grandma now?"

His grandfather replied, "Oh, we just have oral sex now."

"What's oral sex?" the young fellow asked.

"Well," Grandpa said, "She goes to bed into her bedroom, and I go to into my bedroom. And she yells, 'F*** You!" And I holler back, "F*** You too'."
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JOKE 3: Two elderly gentlemen are playing cards on Saturday evening just as they have done for the past 50 years.

Gus, the elder, had been having problems remembering what cards were what, and usually needed help from his wife. At the end of the card game Red said to Gus, "You did very good tonight. You didn't need any help at all. Why is that?"

Gus replied, "Why, ever since my wife sent me to that memory school, I haven't had any problems at all."

"Memory school? What memory school?"

Gus thought for a moment, "Oh, what's that flower that's red with thorns? A really pretty flower . . . "

"A rose?" asked Red.

"Yeah, that's it!" Gus turned to his wife and mumbled, "Hey, Rose! What's the name of that memory school you sent me to?"
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JOKE 4:A noted sex therapist realized that people often lied about the frequency of their encounters, so he devised a test to tell for certain how often someone has had sex.

To prove his theory, he filled an auditorium with people, and went down the line, asking each person to smile. Using the size of the person's smile, the therapist was able to guess accurately until he came to the last man in line, an elderly gentleman, who was grinning from ear to ear.

"Twice a day," the therapist guessed. But the therapist was surprised when the man says no.

"Once a day, then?" Again the answer is no. "Twice a week?" "No." "Twice a month?" "No." The man finally said yes when the doctor got to "once a year."

The therapist is angry that his theory isn't working, and asks the elderly gentleman, "What the heck are you so happy about?"

The gent answered, "Tonight's the night!"



For more information contact Senior Solutions at (954) 456-8984 or toll free at 1-800-213-3524

Throw Out Old Medications

Monday, September 20, 2010

If your household is like most in America, you could be unwittingly contributing to accidental poisonings, drug overdoses, and drug abuse, simply by keeping unused, outdated, or expired pharmaceuticals in your medicine cabinet.

That’s why the New Jersey Poison Information & Education System (NJPIES) recommends regular medicine cabinet cleanouts. The changes of season, and the times of year when you reset your clocks, also are good times to clean out your medicine cabinet, according to NJPIES

For more information contact Senior Solutions at (954) 456-8984 or toll free at 1-800-213-3524

Targeting the Finances of Seniors

BY BRIAN L. HUCHEL
Commercial-News Sun Sep 12, 2010, 12:21 AM CDT

DANVILLE — Vermilion County Sheriff’s Department Investigator Bill Hurt has worked elder abuse cases for four years. In that time, he’s seen instances where as much as $100,000 was stolen from a senior citizen.

Hurt said he’s now seeing a change among both seniors and their family members about the potentials for financial exploitation abuse.

“They’re catching on,” he said.

As a growing percentage of the population hits its senior years, elder abuse is becoming a bigger and bigger issue.

According to data from the Illinois Department on Aging, 20 percent of the more than 10,000 cases reported in 2008 were reported by family members. Senior victims themselves accounted for another 10 percent of the case reports across Illinois.

Aside from telephone scams that target the elderly, Hurt said senior citizens are often victimized by family members who access the senior’s bank accounts through false pretenses, trickery or downright forgery.

Although the action of the abuser is usually the indicator of abuse taking place, there are other specific signs when it comes to determining the existence of financial exploitation.

Susan Real, planning and programs manager at the East Central Illinois Area Agency on Aging, said there are a number of red flags to look for.

“All of a sudden the elder is withdrawing a lot of money from a savings or checking account,” she said. “They seem to have an adequate amount of finances and then not be able to pay a bill or be evicted from their apartment.”

She said caregivers will start digging and see there is a family member who is requesting money or is running up credit card bills and the victim is paying those off.

Almost a quarter of the elder abuse victims in 2008 were 86 years old or older. Real said the older and more frail a senior becomes, the more family interests start to play a role in financial exploitation, as well.

“When the family dynamics come into play, children get involved in powers of attorney or health care,” she said. “They start thinking in terms of inheritances and ‘We’re due this money.’”

Tips for avoiding financial exploitation include:

■Be suspicious if a deal seems too good to be true.
■Do not give out personal information to phone solicitors. Protect your credit cards, Social Security and ATM information.
■Get estimates before doing renovations. Do not pay for work in advance. Check insurance references and credentials.
■Do not sign a power of attorney or any other document that allows another person to act on your behalf unless you have a complete understanding of the actions he or she can take using your name and assets.
■Use good financial practices. Sign up for direct deposit. Do not sign blank checks. Never leave money lying around. Shred credit card offers.
■Maintain a network of friends and professionals.
Mike O’Donnell, executive director of the ECIAAA, said older adults become vulnerable if they become reclusive and don’t have family or friends to advise them.

Currently, state law deems a number of professions as mandated reporters, ranging from law enforcement and social services to religious representatives and a variety of different medical professionals.

A new law signed into effect earlier this year now adds banking officials to the list. O’Donnell said the law is an attempt to train the workers in a “pre-emptive manner to notify and educate the public.”

For more information contact Senior Solutions at (954) 456-8984 or toll free at 1-800-213-3524

Seniors Must Pay Attention To Financial Scams

By EILEEN AJ CONNELLY

NEW YORK - Bernie Madoff is the name everyone remembers, but shady investment "advisers" don't have to bilk billions to do real harm.

In just the last two weeks, The Associated Press reported on at least a dozen cases in which advisers were accused of stealing, on average, just over $416 million from unsuspecting investors. Their alleged frauds touched clients in as many as 22 states.

Senior citizens are especially vulnerable to con artists peddling Ponzi schemes and other dead-end deals.

Most victims are older and many of them have cognitive impairment, said Denise Voigt Crawford, the Texas state securities commissioner. The problem is going to get worse as baby boomers age, she said, adding that one new twist is many of the newest hucksters are also elderly.

"The people who are vulnerable can't even trust people who are their own age," Crawford said.

And it's not just criminal schemes that can cost. Inappropriate investments, whether they're particularly risky or include products that lock up cash for long periods of time, may be perfectly legal but nearly as problematic for seniors. "They don't have the luxury of making mistakes," said Don Blandin, CEO of Investor Protection Trust, an advocacy group. "The suitability issue is very important here."

With market performance weak and interest rates even weaker, retirees concerned about running out of money or leaving a legacy for their families may be more susceptible than ever. They may fall too easily for promises of guaranteed gains or ways to recoup losses.

"There's nothing worse than seeing an elderly couple who's been scammed out of $50,000 or $60,000 or $70,000 - oftentimes their life savings," said Michael Kappas, CEO of Apprisen Financial Advocates in Columbus, Ohio.

Seniors who live alone may be the most vulnerable - the "elderly widow" is a con artist's classic target. And the rapid migration of seniors online may expose this population to even more fraud. Nielsen estimates the number of Internet users age 65 and older shot up 55 percent in the last five years.

It's possible to protect older relatives from investment scams, but first you have to learn details of their financial lives they may be reluctant to reveal.

"Oftentimes, while it shouldn't be, it's the most uncomfortable conversation" that parents have with their kids, Kappas said. "Or in many cases, they won't have it."

In the same way the recession created an environment that may make scams more prevalent, however, it can also provide an entry point for starting the conversation. Bonnie Kirchner, a certified financial planner and author of "Who Can You Trust With Your Money?" suggested raising the issue by talking about reviewing your own investments in light of the economic downturn.

Once the subject in on the table, here are some points that should be covered:

Types of investments

What's the mix of investments in their portfolio?

You can help seniors organize their paperwork as a first step. This is also a good time to make sure they're up to date with all of their bills, which can provide clues as to their overall ability to handle money.

Account information

Are they getting regular statements that show details like purchases and sales, or are they receiving only performance statements? Are they getting consistent returns even in today's volatile market?

Kirchner's ex-husband, Bradford Bleidt, ran a $32.6 million Ponzi scheme that was uncovered in 2005. It targeted retirees, among others. She said incomplete paperwork and suspiciously good performance are big red flags. "With Bernie Madoff and my ex-husband, they were actually creating their own performance statements with no basis behind them."

Financial adviser

Who is their financial adviser? How is he or she compensated, and what's their investment strategy?

You can show your newly Internet-connected folks how to search for licensing information, complaints about, or judgments against brokers and advisers using the Financial Industry Regulatory Authority's Broker Check at www.finra.org and the Securities and Exchange Commission's public disclosure site at http://sec.gov/investor/brokers.htm. Even a simple Google search can produce information about lawsuits or other results that might raise concerns.

Dave Geschke of Ameriprise Financial said a reputable financial planner will be willing to meet with a client's children or heirs. Without permission, they can't discuss portfolio holdings, but they should be willing to review investment philosophy and related issues.

Common Scam Techniques

Ask if they've been approached by anyone new, attended any "free lunch" seminars or received suspicious calls or e-mails?

Make sure older relatives are aware that legitimate banks and brokers don't ask for account information or other sensitive details through e-mail. Let seniors know that they're always better off providing information only when they've made a call themselves, not received one.

AARP has a program that sends volunteers to monitor investment seminars, which often are advertised as educational programs but turn out to be sales pitches. Project manager Andres Castillo said certain products, like annuities with high commissions, are often promoted at these events. Information about the program and a checklist for evaluating seminars is available at www.aarp.org/money/ .

Legal documentation

Is their will, power of attorney and other paperwork up to date? Will your relative make you an authorized user on accounts, or provide passwords, so you can check the accounts periodically, especially if you live out of state?

Laws vary by state, so it's important to know what's required if you believe it's time to step in and help manage money or investments, said Ruth Phelps, a California lawyer and member of the National Academy of Elder Law Attorneys. It's unlikely that one mistake will be enough to have someone declared incompetent, she said, but guardianship may be a necessary step if the senior is showing signs of dementia or Alzheimer's.

If mild cognitive impairment is an issue, hiring an accountant or daily money manager may help. Putting a neutral third party in the role of intermediary may also be a good step if you've had your own financial problems, or your parents don't trust you to access their financial details for other reasons.


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9/11 Photos - Lest We Forget

Copy and paste these URL's into your browser

nymag.com/news/articles/wtc/gallery/

abcnews.go.com/Politics/newly-released-sept-11-photos.../

We have no political agenda other than ensuring that Americans not forget.....

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Senior Humor - 4 Risque Stories

An old hillbilly farmer had a wife who nagged him unmercifully. From morning 'til night she was always complaining about something. The only time he got any relief was when he was out plowing with his old mule. He plowed a lot. One day, when he was out plowing, his wife brought him lunch in the field. He drove the old mule into the shade, sat down on a stump, and began to eat his lunch. Immediately, his wife began nagging him again. Complain, nag, complain, nag - it just went on and on. All of a sudden, the old mule lashed out with both hind feet, caught her smack in the back of the head. Killed her dead on the spot.
At the funeral several days later, the minister noticed something rather odd. When a woman mourner would approach the old farmer, he would listen for a minute, then nod his head in agreement; but when a man mourner approached him, he would listen for a minute, then shake his head in disagreement. This was so consistent, the minister decided to ask the old farmer about it. So after the funeral, the minister spoke to the old farmer, and asked him why he nodded his head and agreed with the women, but always shook his head and disagreed with all the men. The old farmer said, 'Well, the women would come up and say something about how nice my wife looked, or how pretty her dress was, so I'd nod my head in agreement.' And what about the men?' the minister asked. 'They wanted to know if the mule was for sale."

An elderly couple Margaret and Bert, moved to Texas. Bert always wanted a pair of authentic cowboy boots, so, seeing some on sale, he bought them and wore them home. Walking proudly, he sauntered into the kitchen and said to his wife, 'Notice anything different about me?' Margaret looked him over. 'Nope.' Frustrated, Bert stormed off into the bathroom, undressed and walked back into the kitchen completely naked except for the boots. Again he asked Margaret, a little louder this time, 'Notice anything different NOW?' Margaret looked up and exclaimed, 'Bert, what's different? It's hanging down today, it was hanging down yesterday, it'll be hanging down again tomorrow!' Furious, Bert yelled, 'AND DO YOU KNOW WHY IT'S HANGING DOWN, MARGARET?' 'Nope', she replied.. 'IT'S HANGING DOWN, BECAUSE IT'S LOOKING AT MY NEW BOOTS!!!!' Without changing her expression, Margaret replied, 'Shoulda bought a hat, Bert.

An elderly Italian man who lived on the outskirts of Rimini, Italy, went to the local church for confession. When the priest slid open the panel in the confessional, the man said: "Father... During World War II, a beautiful Jewish woman from our neighborhood knocked urgently on my door and asked me to hide her from the Nazis. So I hid her in my attic." The priest replied: "That was a wonderful thing you did, and you have no need to confess that." "There is more to tell, Father.. She started to repay me with sexual favors. This happened several times a week, and sometimes twice on Sundays." The priest said, "That was a long time ago and by doing what you did, you placed the two of you in great danger, but two people under those circumstances can easily succumb to the weakness of the flesh. However, if you are truly sorry for your actions, you are indeed forgiven." "Thank you, Father. That's a great load off my mind. I do have one more question." "And what is that?" asked the priest. "Should I tell her the war is over?"

Old man sitting on his front porch in Louisiana watching the sunrise sees the neighbors' kid walk by carrying something big under his arm. He yells out, 'Hey boy, whatcha got there?' The boy yells back, 'Roll of chicken wire.' The old man says, 'What you gonna do with that?' The boy says, 'Catch some chickens.' The old man yells, 'You dang fool, you can't catch chickens with chicken wire!' The boy just laughs and keeps walking. That evening at sunset the boy comes walking by and to the old man's surprise, he is dragging behind him the chicken wire with about 30 chickens caught in it. At the same time the next morning, the old man is out watching the sunrise and he sees the boy walk by carrying something kind of round in his hand. The old man yells out, 'Hey boy, whatcha got there?' The boy yells back, 'Roll of duck tape.' The old man says, 'What you gonna do with that?' The boy says back, 'Catch me some ducks.' The old man yells back, 'You dang fool, you can't catch ducks with duck tape!' The boy just laughs and keeps walking. That night, around sunset, the boy walks by coming home and to the old man's amazement, he is trailing behind him the unrolled roll of duck tape with about 35 ducks caught in it At the same time the next morning, the old man sees the boy walking by carrying what looks like a long reed with something fuzzy on the end. The old man says, 'Hey boy, whatcha got there?' The boy says, 'It's a pussy willow.' The old man says, 'Hold on, I'll get my hat.'

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Senior Humor - Risque Stories 2 Make U Laff

In a tiny village on the Irish coast lived an old lady, a virgin and very proud of it. Sensing that her final days were rapidly approaching, and desiring to make sure everything was in proper order when she dies, she went to the town's undertaker (who also happened to be the local postal clerk) to make proper "final" arrangements. As a last wish, she informed the undertaker that she wanted the following inscription engraved on her tombstone: "BORN A VIRGIN, LIVED AS A VIRGIN, DIED A VIRGIN" Not long after, the old maid died peacefully. A few days after the funeral, as the undertaker, the postal clerk went to prepare the tombstone that the lady had requested, it became quite apparent that the tombstone that she had selected was much too small for the wording that she had chosen. He thought long and hard about how he could fulfil the old maid's final request, considering the very limited space available on the small piece of stone. For days, he agonized over the dilemma. But finally his experience as a postal worker allowed him to come up with what he thought was the appropriate solution to the problem. The virgin's tombstone was finally completed and duly engraved, and it read as follows: "RETURNED UNOPENED."

A middle aged man goes to his regular doctor for his physical and gets sent to a urologist as a precaution. When he gets there, he discovers the urologist is a very pretty female doctor. The female doctor says, "I'm going to check your prostate today, but this new procedure is a little different from what you are probably used to. I want you to lie on your right side, bend your knees, then while I check your prostate, take a deep breath and say 99," The guy obeys and says 99." The doctor says, "Great... now turn over on your left side and again, take a deep breath and say 99." Again, the guy says 99. The doctor said, "Very good. Now then, I want you to lie on your back with your knees raised slightly, I'm going to check your prostate with this hand, and with the other hand I'm going to hold on to your penis to keep it out of the way. Now take a deep breath and say 99." The old geezer says, "One... Two... Three."

The local news station was interviewing an 80 year old lady, because she had just gotten married for the fourth time. The interviewer asked her questions about her life, about what it felt like to be marrying again at 80 and then about her new husband's occupation! "He's a funeral director," she answered. "Interesting," the newsman thought. He then asked her if she wouldn't mind telling him a little about her first three husbands and what they did for a living. She paused for a few moments, needing time to reflect on all those years. After a short time, a smile came to her face and she answered proudly, explaining that she had first married a banker when she was in her early 20s, then a circus ringmaster when in her 40s, and a preacher when in her 60s, and now in her 80s, a funeral director. Astonished, the interviewer looked at her and asked, "Why did you marry four men with such diverse careers?" She smiled and explained, "I married one for the money, two for the show, three to get ready and four to go."

A travelling salesman came upon an old farmer sitting on his porch, next to the farmer was a pig with only one leg. The salesman was about to give his sales pitch when his curiosity got the best of him. “Excuse me sir, but why does your pig only have one leg?” asked the salesman. “Well sonny, I’ll tell ya. One day I was out plowing the back 40 when my tractor overturned, pinning me underneath. I was losing blood and thought I would die when that pig came running. He dug and rooted around with his nose till he got me out and he dragged me back to the house. Saved my life that pig did.” “Wow, that’s really amazing,” said the salesman, “but I still don’t know why the pig only has one leg.” “Well I’ll tell ya,” said the farmer. “One night me and the wife were asleep at about 3am when a fire broke out in the kitchen. Well that pig broke down the door, came into our bedroom waking us up and getting us out before the fire could get us, saved our lives that pig did!” “Well that’s really great but why does the pig only have one leg?” “Well sonny, when you get a pig that smart, you don’t want to eat him all at once.

Two young businessmen in Florida were sitting down for a break in their soon-to-be new store in the shopping mall. As yet, the store wasn't ready, with only a few shelves and display racks set up. One said to the other, "I'll bet that any minute now some senior is going to walk by, put his face to the window, and ask what we're selling." Sure enough, just a moment later, a curious senior gentleman walked up to the window, looked around intensely and rapped on the glass, then in a loud voice asked, "What are you sellin' here?" One of the men replied sarcastically, "We're selling ass-holes." Without skipping a beat, the old timer said, "You're doing well, only two left."

A group of 40-year-old buddies discuss where they should meet for dinner. Finally it is agreed upon that they should meet at the Beaujolais Bistro because the waitresses there have low-cut blouses and really short skirts. 10 years later, at 50 years of age, the group meets again and once again they discuss where they should meet. Finally it is agreed that they should meet at the Beaujolais Bistro because the food there is very good and the wine selection is excellent. 10 years later at 60 years of age, the group meets again and once again they discuss where they should meet. Finally it is agreed that they should meet at the Beaujolais Bistro because they can eat there in peace and quiet and the restaurant is smoke-free. 10 years later, at 70 years of age, the group meets again and once again they discuss where they should meet. Finally it is agreed that they should meet at the Beaujolais Bistro because the restaurant is wheelchair accessible and they even have an elevator. 10 years later, at 80 years of age, the group meets again and once again they discuss where they should meet. Finally it is agreed that they should meet at the Beaujolais Bistro because everyone's heard it's good and they've never been there before.

Jim left for work one Friday afternoon. But it was payday, so instead of going home, he stayed out the entire weekend partying and playing golf with the boys and spending his entire paycheck. When he finally appeared at home on Sunday night, the old geezer was confronted by his angry wife and was barraged for nearly two hours with a tirade befitting his actions. Finally his wife stopped the nagging and said to him, “How would you like it if you didn’t see me for two or three days?” He replied, “That would be fine with me.” Monday went by and he didn’t see his wife. Tuesday and Wednesday came and went with the same results. But on Thursday, the swelling went down just enough where he could see her a little out of the corner of his left eye.

I know they're terrible, but I can't resist....

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Extraordinary People of the Senior Kind ~

RETURNS IN THE FALL ~

For more information contact Senior Solutions at (954) 456-8984 or toll free at 1-800-213-3524

Extraordinary People of the Senior Kind ~

RETURNS IN THE FALL ~

For more information contact Senior Solutions at (954) 456-8984 or toll free at 1-800-213-3524

Identify & Treat Burns!

HOW TO RECOGNIZE AND TREAT BURN INJURIES

Burns can be painful - and serious. It's all a matter of degree. To know how to treat a burn, and when to call a doctor, first learn to distinguish the different types of burns.

First degree burns: Only the outer layer of skin is damaged. The skin is red, with some swelling and pain. This is the least serious type of burn and can be treated with first aid.

Second degree burns: The first layer of skin has been burned through, and the layer underneath is red and splotchy. Blisters may develop, along with swelling.

Third degree burns: The most serious type of burn, affecting all layers of skin and possibly causing permanent damage to tissues and even bones. Skin may appear either charred and black, or white and dry. For third degree burns, immediate medical attention is needed. Don't remove burned clothing or soak in water, but cover the area with a cool, wet sterile cloth or bandage. If possible, raise the burned area of the body above the level of the heart.

With first degree burns, or second-degree burns that don't cover more than 3 inches of skin, hold the burned area under cool - but not cold - running water for about 15 minutes. Don't put ice on the burn. Wrap the wound in a loose dressing of sterile gauze, keeping air and pressure off the burn. Don't break any blisters that form. The patient can take over the counter medications such as aspirin, ibuprofen, or acetaminophen for pain.

Keep an eye out for increased redness, swelling, or oozing, and call a doctor if any of these signs of infection develop.

For more information contact Senior Solutions at (954) 456-8984 or toll free at 1-800-213-3524

Extraordinary People of the Senior Kind ~

RETURNS IN THE FALL ~

For more information contact Senior Solutions at (954) 456-8984 or toll free at 1-800-213-3524

Senior Humor - On The Lighter Side

'OLD' IS WHEN...
Your sweetie says, 'Let's go upstairs And make love,' and you answer, 'Pick one; I can't do both!'

'OLD' IS WHEN....
Your friends compliment you on your new alligator shoes and you're barefoot.

'OLD' IS WHEN...
Going bra-less pulls all the wrinkles out of your face.

'OLD' IS WHEN....
You don't care where your spouse goes, just as long as you don't have to go along.

'OLD' IS WHEN...
You are cautioned to slow down by the doctor instead of by the police .

'OLD' IS WHEN..
'Getting a little action' means you don't need to take any fiber today.

'OLD' IS WHEN...
'Getting lucky' means you find your car in the parking lot..

'OLD' IS WHEN...
An 'all nighter' means not getting up to use the bathroom.

AND

'OLD' IS WHEN....
You are not sure if these are facts! or jokes?

Hopefully you're still young enough to laugh at this silliness.......

For more information contact Senior Solutions at (954) 456-8984 or toll free at 1-800-213-3524

Extraordinary People of the Senior Kind ~

RETURNS IN THE FALL ~

For more information contact Senior Solutions at (954) 456-8984 or toll free at 1-800-213-3524

Extraordinary People of the Senior Kind ~

RETURNS IN THE FALL ~

For more information contact Senior Solutions at (954) 456-8984 or toll free at 1-800-213-3524